Women have an idealized view of it, and men think of it as just a means to an end. Whichever side of the fence you’re on, romance and romantic gestures are going to be with us for a long time to come.
A woman’s idea of romance harkens back to the days of knights in shining armor. A handsome man, think Galahad, in a suit of armor, sitting atop a war horse, lance in hand, riding off to do battle with a lady’s handkerchief tucked next to his heart. A man who put his lady love on a pedestal, willing to do whatever she wanted or desired. And believe it or not, there are a few men like that left in this world.
They’re pretty hard to find though!
Romeo and Juliet is a classic love story. Boy and girl from families that hate each other, forbidden love, and with a plot that’s been used in novels and movies hundreds of times. There’s a reason it’s been so popular since Shakespeare’s time.
A more modern example of romantic love, without the suicide at the end, is ‘The Notebook’ by Nicholas Sparks. A love story about a man who is still devoted to a wife who doesn’t remember him. A man who visits her day after day until the one fateful day when her memory returns and then they’re both found the next morning in bed together, dead.
Unbelievably sad? Yes. Unbelievably romantic? Yes!
A man’s idea of romance typically revolves around getting his lady love into bed, or off his back. A man thinks he’s being romantic if he does the dishes ‘for’ her, or sends flowers on a woman’s birthday.
Not that we don’t appreciate the dishes and the flowers. We do. But that’s not what a woman wants when she tells him she wants him to be more romantic!
We want a man who’ll open the door for us. A man who sends us flowers on a day that’s not our birthday. A man who surprises us with a candlelit dinner – and who cleans up afterward.
We want that knight in shining armor!
So, if you’re a man reading this. Take a page from history and try being a Lancelot for a change.
What To Do If Your Husband Isn’t Romantic
Take a page from my Man Training article. Treat him like a dog – literally! Men can learn to be romantic but its going to take some work on your part. Just like a puppy who has to be trained not to pee in your haouse, you can train him too. And it all starts with finding out a way to reward him for good behavior.
The key is to reward him when he does something romantic and to not reward him for bad behavior. Remember when you first started dating and he held the door for you? Start there. next time you go somewhere ask him to open the door for you, and then flirt with him.
Should you have to do this? No! But desperate times call for desperate measures.
Is Romance Dead?
Romance is not dead. We still have romantic comedies, romance novels are still popular, and I’ve been blessed with a husband who still knows what romance is all about. A man who lets me sleep in when I’m tired, even though he’s up at five. A man who’ll take me out to dinner when I’m feeling blue and who doesn’t mind cooking dinner. A man who tells me he loves me every day.
And yes … he still gets in trouble with me. But he never holds it against me.
Trust me, men and women, romance is still alive and well – do something nice for the woman you love and your lady love might just make both your dreams come true!
Nikki Caine writes spicy romantic stories. Check her out on Amazon.