My Secret Hiding Spots

Sometimes adults need a place to hide. A place to get away from family or kids or coworkers.

When everyday life gets to be a little too much, sometimes I just need a place to go and be alone. Not that I don’t like the people around me, but on those days when I’m feeling mean or aggravated it’s a sure bet that you can find me in one of these places.

My favorite place to hide is our local art museum. It’s a sure bet that I’ll never run into any of my friends or family there. They all think that museums are boring. I actually enjoy the art museum. There is an unwritten rule, much like the library, that talking is not allowed. But unlike the library, there’s no one there to shush you if you do decide to speak. Rather its an unwritten rule.

In the museum I can wander from room to room, or just sit quietly, and look at paintings or scultpures without someone constantly asking me for something. A place to gather my thoughts and forget about the outside world for a while. And as a bonus I almost always come up with a story idea.

Bookstores are another place you’ll find me sometimes although they’re getting harder and harder to find. Our local Borders shut down, and it’s a thirty minute drive to the next big bookstore near me. Although that’s okay too. If I didn’t have to drive through city traffic, it would be almost perfect.

Bookstores, like museums and libraries, are usually pretty quiet. Not as quiet, but close. Just don’t go on a weekend. I loved Borders because I could wander the aisles, find a new book, and then grab a latté and just read. Uninterrupted.

Once I finished a whole book after a particularly stressful weekend.

It was heaven!

If I want to feel like I’m still being productive I’ll go the park and walk. During the week its empty, and as a woman I still feel safe because it’s a wide open park. It’s a way for me to pretend I’m exercising while enjoying nature. On the weekends it’s too busy. Full of kids playing sports and their parents. Not that I don’t like kids, I do. But I know a lot of moms and they have a way of finding me when all I really want is to be alone.

These are my hiding spots when I feel a need to be alone. If you have a favorite spot to go when you need to get away leave a comment.

Nikki Caine writes short spicy stories. You can find her on Amazon.

 

 

 

Men Are So Confusing

Men are a very mysterious breed. While society pegs them as easy to read, we women know the truth. They confuse women.

Why do men feel the need to catcall. It’s especially bad with construction workers and men in trucks. Big trucks.

Just stop it guys. We’re not going to go home with you, or jump in your truck, and then jump all over you. The only girls that do that are the ones who work on street corners.

And what is it with your fascination with big trucks? Are you over compensating for something? If you like a big four wheel drive truck with chrome everywhere that sits so high you need a ladder to get into it, good for you. Some of us women like big trucks too.

We don’t like the assholes who yell at us when they drive by. Just stop it. It wasn’t even cute when you were in high school. And now? It’s just sad.

Another thing that confuses women is why men spend so long in the bathroom. Surely it doesn’t take you that long? Just what exactly are you doing in there? Reading? Trust me there are much better places to read.

And we know it stinks, because we can barely breathe when you’re done and we walk in.

It’s confusing and irritating to us to that men seem to have a hard time listening to us. Why can’t men just listen to us when we sit down and tell them about something that’s happened during the day that has upset us. Our girlfriends don’t seem to have a hard time doing this. Why do men?

And why do they think they need to fix whatever we’re upset about?

Women are smart enough to fix whatever the problem is for themselves. We just want someone to listen to us and show a little empathy.

I know a guy who defines empathy as ‘putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and imagining what they feel.’ Except in his case, what he really means is what would he would do.

That’s not what women mean by empathy.

Men’s feelings are another thing that confuses women. The same guy who’ll pretend he has something in his eye when Lassie falls down a well, is the same guy who pretends to be tough when something unbelievably sad happens in life.

Like at funerals. They pretend to be so stoic.

It’s true women don’t want a guy who cries when he gets a bad hair cut. But why can’t men show a little emotion when women are around?

These are just a few of the things that I find so confusing about men. There are lots more and if you have something you find confusing about men leave a comment. Maybe one of the guys reading this can explain it to us.

Although I’m betting it’ll be a confusing answer!

Nikki Caine writes short spicy stories. Check her out on Amazon.

 

Common Things Men Aren’t Judged On

Ever notice these common things that men get away with that are forbidden for women?

Getting older has to be at the top of the list. When men get older they’re called distinguished, while women are often seen as less than desirable. And while men are seen as having won some kind of contest when they date a younger woman, at least by other men, women are labeled cougars.

It’s really not fair. Older women like attractive young men. I’m not talking an eighty year old woman dating a twenty something young stud, but if she wants to – she shouldn’t be judged. And if an older man wants to date or marry a younger woman, that doesn’t mean she’s just a slut who is after his money.

Well – probably not. If I was ever dumped for a younger woman, I’d be just as upset as every other woman is.

Why is it that guys can get away with a messy apartment? We women are judged if our places aren’t clean, how come men can get away with it? It’s actually kind of a cliché that a single man can’t pick up and clean his place. If he’s married why do people always assume that it’s his wife who doesn’t know how to clean.

Mother in laws are bad about this. It’s your sons who are the slobs, not their wives. And why is it his girlfriends or wives job to remember your birthday? He’s your son!

Why aren’t men judged when they don’t wear makeup. I always seem to get sly sideways glances whenever I’m out in public without makeup on. I don’t like makeup. Of course, this works both ways. I’m sure IF my husband wore makeup the looks he’d get would be priceless.

Don’t judge a woman who doesn’t wear makeup. Some of us don’t like it.

Why do men get to go shirtless in public or when they’re mowing the yard. Not that many men go shirtless any more in public, it’s more a lawn care and beach and lake thing. But still. I know if I decided to go topless while mowing the yard, every man in the neighborhood would be out with a pair of binoculars, and their wives would all hate me.

Is it really fair?

And a similar thing applies to shaving our pits. Why is it perfectly okay for a man to not shave his armpits, but we women are labeled as some kind of back to nature feminist if we don’t.

These are just a few of the things that men get away with that women can’t. Not that we should care what other people think, but maybe we can quit judging other women.

If you can think of other things that men get away with that women can’t leave a comment.

Nikki Caine writes short spicy stories. Check her out on Amazon.

 

Irritating Things People Should Stop Doing

As an author, I want my stories to have conflict, irritating little things that happen to a character, a reason to make the reader gasp a little and wonder what is going to happen next. As I was pondering potential conflicts to add to a story I’m working on I came up with a list of ten irritating things people do that drive me nuts, and while not all of them would make good conflicts for a story, they all give me that ‘nails on a chalkboard’ feeling whenever I’m exposed to them.

My ‘Nails on Chalkboard’ List

1. Parents who bribe their kids.

As a parent this drives me nuts. Quit rewarding you’re little darlings with candy when they throw a fit and take them home. When you give them candy after they destroy the store display all you’re teaching them is that the way to get what they want is to destroy something.

2. You’re Just Afraid of Change.

Of course we’re afraid of change. We’re afraid of changing something that doesn’t need to be changed.

3. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Like I was planning on going and sitting in the closet while something enjoyable was happening? Why not try telling me ‘congratulations’ or ‘that sounds wonderful’.

4. Typo’s on the major news sites.

Some people may not notice, but as someone who writes they stick out as glaring mistakes. Seriously, most of the world uses spell check, turn it back on, it’s irritating as hell when a professional journalist can’t spell.

5. Bae

I hear this irritating little word whenever I’m around teens, although I’ve heard it from adults too. Can’t you just confess that they’re your boyfriend or girlfriend.

6. Baby momma and baby daddy.

He or she may be your child’s biological mother or father, but don’t call them baby momma or baby daddy.
Mom’s don’t really want to be called baby momma. Show us some respect guys!

7. People who need to one up.

I had a brother-in-law who was like this. Thank God my sister finally woke up and moved on. It didn’t matter what you were talking about, he had to one up it. Flying to the Bahama’s for vacation? He’d tell you about how he had a pilot’s license and had found Amelia Earhart. Going to the football game? He was best friends with the owner. It was so bad that at family gatherings we took turns egging him on just to see what he could come up with next. It all ended when my cousins girlfriend called him out one Thanksgiving. He only paused for a moment before changing subjects and telling us that he flew a hundred orphans out of war torn Africa this time last year.

8. People who feel the need to point out things that need to be done to your house.

I have sister-in-law who is bad about doing this. When she asked about the yard at one of our holiday get togethers, my husband had finally had enough and fired the lawn mower up, telling her with a smile on his face, that she could eat with the rest of us when she was done mowing.
She didn’t talk to him for six months.
I gave him an extra special night after everybody went home!

9. People who repeatedly ask the same question.

Kids and husbands are bad about this sometimes. ‘What’s for dinner’ seems to be a favorite around my house. I think they keep asking because they think I’m going to change my mind.
I have news for you – I’m not. No matter how many times you ask, we’re still having baked chicken, and not pizza.
My husband got the hint fairly quickly and since he likes to cook, and don’t tell him this, but sometimes I tell him we’re having something I know he hates.
Thank God he’s a better cook than I am!

10. People who tell me how to raise my kids.

I have my own way, thank you very much. And all I hear is that you think I’m a bad mother. I’m not.

These are some of the irritating things that people do that drive me nuts. If one of your pet peeves isn’t on this list please leave a comment. Who knows? Maybe I’ll work it into my next story.

Nikki Caine writes spicy romances. Check her out on Amazon.

 

Female Movie Character Clichés That Need To Go!

Men don’t even notice them, but women are well aware of these female movie clichés that need to go.

Cliché’s, those things so overused that they’ve become commonplace, are a writers nightmare. It’s been said that writers fall back on cliché’s because they’re lazy. I believe writers fall into using cliché’s because they’re familiar.

“The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.”
? Terry Pratchett

There are some female movie character clichés that need to go. It’s not that they’re overused, but they don’t make any sense.

The first cliché that must die is common to just about every action movie ever made. That cliché is the badass female character. She carries a gun. She knows how to use it. She can kick ass when she needs to. Now there’s no reason that a girl can’t do any of these things. We’re women. Of course we can be a badass if we choose to be. The cliche that needs to go is what she says just after she’s kicked some man’s ass across the bar and she turns to her male co-star and says, “I have brothers.”

Like a girl can’t be a badass unless she ‘learned it’ from her brothers?

Seriously, what kind of brothers were they if she had to learn to defend herself against them. Did she grow up in a “Deliverance” kind of place?

Did you ever notice that she’s usually wearing five inch stiletto’s while she’s doing it. I don’t know about you, but if I tried to do some kind of karate thing in heels I’d fall and break an ankle.

She’s usually wearing something skin tight and she’s always attractive. Like a woman who doesn’t have supermodel looks can’t kick ass? And why the skin tight clothes? Back to the karate thing again, if I tried to kick that high in skin tight jeans or even worse, a catsuit, I’m pretty sure something would rip.

Not these girls.

They’re makeup is always perfect and it never runs. Not even after they’ve run three blocks to chase a bad guy down and shoot him.

Hint for the male script writers out there: that’s not the way it works in the real world. And her hair wouldn’t still be perfect! It’d be a wreck.

Romantic comedy’s can be just as bad. Why is it that they always have a girl who just needs to have a makeover to become the hot chick that always gets the guy she’s dreamed of and then dumps him?

It’s usually a girl who wears glasses and puts her hair in a pony tail. I’ve got news for all the males out there. If a woman needs glasses and she takes them off, she can’t see. And just because she takes her pony tail out and shakes her head, doesn’t mean she turns into an instant supermodel. For most women, when we take out a pony tail and shake our hair, it still looks like we just took our hair out of a pony tail. Not like we spent two hours getting it done.

Sorry guys!

The final cliché that needs to go is the woman who wakes up after a night of hot sex with perfect hair and make up. It doesn’t happen that way in the real world. Not unless we sneak out of bed a couple of hours before said hot guy wakes up and we redo everything, then climb back into bed and pretend that we’re just waking up.

These three female movie character cliché’s need to go. For all the male scriptwriters out there – how about giving us a woman who wears comfortable clothes, needs to lose a little weight, wears sensible shoes – and can still kick ass. Let her wakeup looking like a normal woman would. No makeup and with her hair a mess.

A lot more women might just go see your movie.

If you know some female movie character cliché’s that need to go, leave a comment.

Nikki Caine writes short spicy romance. Check her out on Amazon.