Common Things Men Aren’t Judged On

Ever notice these common things that men get away with that are forbidden for women?

Getting older has to be at the top of the list. When men get older they’re called distinguished, while women are often seen as less than desirable. And while men are seen as having won some kind of contest when they date a younger woman, at least by other men, women are labeled cougars.

It’s really not fair. Older women like attractive young men. I’m not talking an eighty year old woman dating a twenty something young stud, but if she wants to – she shouldn’t be judged. And if an older man wants to date or marry a younger woman, that doesn’t mean she’s just a slut who is after his money.

Well – probably not. If I was ever dumped for a younger woman, I’d be just as upset as every other woman is.

Why is it that guys can get away with a messy apartment? We women are judged if our places aren’t clean, how come men can get away with it? It’s actually kind of a cliché that a single man can’t pick up and clean his place. If he’s married why do people always assume that it’s his wife who doesn’t know how to clean.

Mother in laws are bad about this. It’s your sons who are the slobs, not their wives. And why is it his girlfriends or wives job to remember your birthday? He’s your son!

Why aren’t men judged when they don’t wear makeup. I always seem to get sly sideways glances whenever I’m out in public without makeup on. I don’t like makeup. Of course, this works both ways. I’m sure IF my husband wore makeup the looks he’d get would be priceless.

Don’t judge a woman who doesn’t wear makeup. Some of us don’t like it.

Why do men get to go shirtless in public or when they’re mowing the yard. Not that many men go shirtless any more in public, it’s more a lawn care and beach and lake thing. But still. I know if I decided to go topless while mowing the yard, every man in the neighborhood would be out with a pair of binoculars, and their wives would all hate me.

Is it really fair?

And a similar thing applies to shaving our pits. Why is it perfectly okay for a man to not shave his armpits, but we women are labeled as some kind of back to nature feminist if we don’t.

These are just a few of the things that men get away with that women can’t. Not that we should care what other people think, but maybe we can quit judging other women.

If you can think of other things that men get away with that women can’t leave a comment.

Nikki Caine writes short spicy stories. Check her out on Amazon.

 

Irritating Things People Should Stop Doing

As an author, I want my stories to have conflict, irritating little things that happen to a character, a reason to make the reader gasp a little and wonder what is going to happen next. As I was pondering potential conflicts to add to a story I’m working on I came up with a list of ten irritating things people do that drive me nuts, and while not all of them would make good conflicts for a story, they all give me that ‘nails on a chalkboard’ feeling whenever I’m exposed to them.

My ‘Nails on Chalkboard’ List

1. Parents who bribe their kids.

As a parent this drives me nuts. Quit rewarding you’re little darlings with candy when they throw a fit and take them home. When you give them candy after they destroy the store display all you’re teaching them is that the way to get what they want is to destroy something.

2. You’re Just Afraid of Change.

Of course we’re afraid of change. We’re afraid of changing something that doesn’t need to be changed.

3. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Like I was planning on going and sitting in the closet while something enjoyable was happening? Why not try telling me ‘congratulations’ or ‘that sounds wonderful’.

4. Typo’s on the major news sites.

Some people may not notice, but as someone who writes they stick out as glaring mistakes. Seriously, most of the world uses spell check, turn it back on, it’s irritating as hell when a professional journalist can’t spell.

5. Bae

I hear this irritating little word whenever I’m around teens, although I’ve heard it from adults too. Can’t you just confess that they’re your boyfriend or girlfriend.

6. Baby momma and baby daddy.

He or she may be your child’s biological mother or father, but don’t call them baby momma or baby daddy.
Mom’s don’t really want to be called baby momma. Show us some respect guys!

7. People who need to one up.

I had a brother-in-law who was like this. Thank God my sister finally woke up and moved on. It didn’t matter what you were talking about, he had to one up it. Flying to the Bahama’s for vacation? He’d tell you about how he had a pilot’s license and had found Amelia Earhart. Going to the football game? He was best friends with the owner. It was so bad that at family gatherings we took turns egging him on just to see what he could come up with next. It all ended when my cousins girlfriend called him out one Thanksgiving. He only paused for a moment before changing subjects and telling us that he flew a hundred orphans out of war torn Africa this time last year.

8. People who feel the need to point out things that need to be done to your house.

I have sister-in-law who is bad about doing this. When she asked about the yard at one of our holiday get togethers, my husband had finally had enough and fired the lawn mower up, telling her with a smile on his face, that she could eat with the rest of us when she was done mowing.
She didn’t talk to him for six months.
I gave him an extra special night after everybody went home!

9. People who repeatedly ask the same question.

Kids and husbands are bad about this sometimes. ‘What’s for dinner’ seems to be a favorite around my house. I think they keep asking because they think I’m going to change my mind.
I have news for you – I’m not. No matter how many times you ask, we’re still having baked chicken, and not pizza.
My husband got the hint fairly quickly and since he likes to cook, and don’t tell him this, but sometimes I tell him we’re having something I know he hates.
Thank God he’s a better cook than I am!

10. People who tell me how to raise my kids.

I have my own way, thank you very much. And all I hear is that you think I’m a bad mother. I’m not.

These are some of the irritating things that people do that drive me nuts. If one of your pet peeves isn’t on this list please leave a comment. Who knows? Maybe I’ll work it into my next story.

Nikki Caine writes spicy romances. Check her out on Amazon.

 

Female Movie Character Clichés That Need To Go!

Men don’t even notice them, but women are well aware of these female movie clichés that need to go.

Cliché’s, those things so overused that they’ve become commonplace, are a writers nightmare. It’s been said that writers fall back on cliché’s because they’re lazy. I believe writers fall into using cliché’s because they’re familiar.

“The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.”
? Terry Pratchett

There are some female movie character clichés that need to go. It’s not that they’re overused, but they don’t make any sense.

The first cliché that must die is common to just about every action movie ever made. That cliché is the badass female character. She carries a gun. She knows how to use it. She can kick ass when she needs to. Now there’s no reason that a girl can’t do any of these things. We’re women. Of course we can be a badass if we choose to be. The cliche that needs to go is what she says just after she’s kicked some man’s ass across the bar and she turns to her male co-star and says, “I have brothers.”

Like a girl can’t be a badass unless she ‘learned it’ from her brothers?

Seriously, what kind of brothers were they if she had to learn to defend herself against them. Did she grow up in a “Deliverance” kind of place?

Did you ever notice that she’s usually wearing five inch stiletto’s while she’s doing it. I don’t know about you, but if I tried to do some kind of karate thing in heels I’d fall and break an ankle.

She’s usually wearing something skin tight and she’s always attractive. Like a woman who doesn’t have supermodel looks can’t kick ass? And why the skin tight clothes? Back to the karate thing again, if I tried to kick that high in skin tight jeans or even worse, a catsuit, I’m pretty sure something would rip.

Not these girls.

They’re makeup is always perfect and it never runs. Not even after they’ve run three blocks to chase a bad guy down and shoot him.

Hint for the male script writers out there: that’s not the way it works in the real world. And her hair wouldn’t still be perfect! It’d be a wreck.

Romantic comedy’s can be just as bad. Why is it that they always have a girl who just needs to have a makeover to become the hot chick that always gets the guy she’s dreamed of and then dumps him?

It’s usually a girl who wears glasses and puts her hair in a pony tail. I’ve got news for all the males out there. If a woman needs glasses and she takes them off, she can’t see. And just because she takes her pony tail out and shakes her head, doesn’t mean she turns into an instant supermodel. For most women, when we take out a pony tail and shake our hair, it still looks like we just took our hair out of a pony tail. Not like we spent two hours getting it done.

Sorry guys!

The final cliché that needs to go is the woman who wakes up after a night of hot sex with perfect hair and make up. It doesn’t happen that way in the real world. Not unless we sneak out of bed a couple of hours before said hot guy wakes up and we redo everything, then climb back into bed and pretend that we’re just waking up.

These three female movie character cliché’s need to go. For all the male scriptwriters out there – how about giving us a woman who wears comfortable clothes, needs to lose a little weight, wears sensible shoes – and can still kick ass. Let her wakeup looking like a normal woman would. No makeup and with her hair a mess.

A lot more women might just go see your movie.

If you know some female movie character cliché’s that need to go, leave a comment.

Nikki Caine writes short spicy romance. Check her out on Amazon.

 

 

 

 

What To Do If You’re Feeling Depressed

There are some days I wake up and just feel depressed. Sad for no apparent reason, and it’s a struggle just to get out of bed. Much less work on any writing. These are some of the things that help me.

Note: If you feel depressed all the time or for long stretches, go see someone. Clinical depression is no joking matter and needs to be treated.

 

 

 

10 Tips For Cheering Yourself Up

1. Me day

Sometimes we just need a day to ourselves. A day to do whatever we feel like doing without worrying about other people. A day to remember that we’re important too. Taking a guilt free me day every now and then is perfectly okay.

2. Take a long hot bath

Force yourself to get out of bed and take a long hot bath. Or do what I do, take a long hot shower and let the tub fill up. You may have to drag yourself out of bed and into the bathroom, but trust me, you’ll ten times better after a hot bath.
And sometimes this is all it takes to start feeing better.

3. Exercise

I’m not the worlds greatest exerciser. In fact I usually kind of hate it. But I do know that exercise always makes me feel better afterwards. Take a long walk. Dance to some music. But get up and move. It helps.

4. Reading fiction

Of course reading is on my list. I love books. And losing yourself for a while in your favorite book helps me to take my mind off feeling sad.

5. Knitting

I don’t knit much anymore, but there’s something about the repetitive motion of the needles and seeing a scarf grow longer that calms me and makes me realize I’ve accomplished something. If you don’t know how to knit, watch a youtube video, learn a simple knit or purl stitch, and try it.
Knitting is cathartic.

6. Sit with your pet

I have a small brown mutt, and he knows when I’m sad. He’ll come sit with me, lay his head on my leg, and listen to whatever I have to say without trying to fix it. Those of you who are in a relationship know what I mean. I hear that cats are the same way. Unfortunately I’m allergic to them.

7. Go to Starbucks and say thank you to someone

The act of getting up and around, and driving to get a cup of coffee, and then sitting and listening to the people around me, usually helps. And even though it sounds silly, thanking the person at the counter helps, they usually smile and say something kind in return. And that always makes me smile.

8. Sit in the sun

When I’ve spent too much time indoors I always feel a little down. There’s something about sitting in the sun and feeling the warmth of its rays that helps. Pretending I’m a child and finding shapes in the clouds is a great way to pass the time and take my mind off feeling down.

9. Listen to fun music

I don’t care what it is, fun music always brings a smile to my face, and if I get up and dance to it when I’m alone it makes me feel better. I have a special playlist to list to on days when I’m feeling a little down. Just the act of finding the songs and putting them together helps.

10. Watch a fun movie

Watching fun movies goes right along with fun music. Mama Mia is a go to for me. It’s fun and I love the music. It’s hard to feel sad when I watch it.

These ten things always help when I’m feeling depressed. And hopefully they’ll help you too. And remember there’s a big difference from feeling sad and depressed every now and then, and feeling that way every day. If you’re feeling depressed all the time, go talk to a professional.

Nikki Caine writes short spicy stories. Check her out on Amazon.

Who Says Romance is Dead

Women have an idealized view of it, and men think of it as just a means to an end. Whichever side of the fence you’re on, romance and romantic gestures are going to be with us for a long time to come.

A woman’s idea of romance harkens back to the days of knights in shining armor. A handsome man, think Galahad, in a suit of armor, sitting atop a war horse, lance in hand, riding off to do battle with a lady’s handkerchief tucked next to his heart. A man who put his lady love on a pedestal, willing to do whatever she wanted or desired. And believe it or not, there are a few men like that left in this world.

They’re pretty hard to find though!

Romeo and Juliet is a classic love story. Boy and girl from families that hate each other, forbidden love, and with a plot that’s been used in novels and movies hundreds of times. There’s a reason it’s been so popular since Shakespeare’s time.

A more modern example of romantic love, without the suicide at the end, is ‘The Notebook’ by Nicholas Sparks. A love story about a man who is still devoted to a wife who doesn’t remember him. A man who visits her day after day until the one fateful day when her memory returns and then they’re both found the next morning in bed together, dead.

Unbelievably sad? Yes. Unbelievably romantic? Yes!

A man’s idea of romance typically revolves around getting his lady love into bed, or off his back. A man thinks he’s being romantic if he does the dishes ‘for’ her, or sends flowers on a woman’s birthday.

Not that we don’t appreciate the dishes and the flowers. We do. But that’s not what a woman wants when she tells him she wants him to be more romantic!

We want a man who’ll open the door for us. A man who sends us flowers on a day that’s not our birthday. A man who surprises us with a candlelit dinner – and who cleans up afterward.

We want that knight in shining armor!

So, if you’re a man reading this. Take a page from history and try being a Lancelot for a change.

What To Do If Your Husband Isn’t Romantic

Take a page from my Man Training article. Treat him like a dog – literally! Men can learn to be romantic but its going to take some work on your part. Just like a puppy who has to be trained not to pee in your haouse, you can train him too. And it all starts with finding out a way to reward him for good behavior.

The key is to reward him when he does something romantic and to not reward him for bad behavior. Remember when you first started dating and he held the door for you? Start there. next time you go somewhere ask him to open the door for you, and then flirt with him.

Should you have to do this? No! But desperate times call for desperate measures.

Is Romance Dead?

Romance is not dead. We still have romantic comedies, romance novels are still popular, and I’ve been blessed with a husband who still knows what romance is all about. A man who lets me sleep in when I’m tired, even though he’s up at five. A man who’ll take me out to dinner when I’m feeling blue and who doesn’t mind cooking dinner. A man who tells me he loves me every day.

And yes … he still gets in trouble with me. But he never holds it against me.

Trust me, men and women, romance is still alive and well – do something nice for the woman you love and your lady love might just make both your dreams come true!

Nikki Caine writes spicy romantic stories. Check her out on Amazon.