Wedding Reception Do Not’s

The wedding is over and the reception has just begun. Don’t do these things and the bride won’t hate you forever.

Having been to my fair share of weddings and the receptions afterwards I’ve noticed that there are a few things that are guaranteed to make the bride hate you forever.

 

It’s traditional for the best man and the maid of honor to give a speech at the reception. If you’re called on to make a speech don’t tell us why their best friend. The speech should be about the lucky couple and keep it short. Four or five minutes at the most. Don’t try to be funny. Most people aren’t and whether you know it or not, those of us listening are cringing inside. And whatever you do, don’t tell us that you used to date the bride or the groom or both of them. It’s embarrassing to everyone who hears it.

If you’re the maid of honor you’re already on thin ice if the bride knows you dated her new husband, and if she didn’t know?

She’ll hate you forever.

There are a few other things that are a definite no-no. Whatever you do, don’t announce that the bride is pregnant. Don’t get drunk before you make the speech. In fact, don’t get drunk period. We all like to have a good time at a reception, but nobody enjoys being around a drunk. And trust me, while drunk people think they’re funny, you’re not.

The photographer the happy couple has hired cost them a pretty penny. Don’t get in his or her way and block their shots. The pictures are something that the bride will cherish forever and she doesn’t want to see the back of your head when she’s cutting the cake with her new husband. Or a worse thing, your iPhone in the shot when her groom is kissing her at the wedding.

For the girls, out there, don’t try to upstage the bride. If Mr. I Can’t Commit proposes to you at the reception and you say yes, wait until the next day to tell everyone. It’s the bride’s day, keep it that way. And don’t wear a white dress to the wedding or the reception.

There’s only one woman who should be in white. The bride.

If you’re part of the wedding party, whatever you do stay until after the bride and groom leave. I was at a wedding recently where the wedding party left before the bride and groom.

The bride is still mad about it.

If you’re part of the wedding party, make sure you help whenever and wherever it’s needed. The groom shouldn’t have to leave to go get another keg of beer during the reception. And volunteer to help clean up after the reception is over. Don’t stand around while the bride’s parents are putting up chairs. The bride’s mother will tell her about it, and she just might hate you forever.

And for all the guests out there, if you didn’t RSVP, stay home. Brides everywhere worry endlessly that they won’t have enough food, cake, etc. at the reception. Don’t be the person who shows up with six friends that weren’t even invited.

Remember that this is the bride’s day, and while the groom might not care, the bride will.

Stay away from the do nots above and make it special for her.

And a last word of advice for the bride and groom – remember to wander around and thank the people who took the time to show up and help you celebrate the beginning of your new life together.

We’ll remember too.

Nikki Caine writes short spicy stories. Check her out on Amazon.

Fall More In Love Everyday

Falling in love a little more every day is not only possible but isn’t all that hard if you follow these tips.

I’ve been blessed with a wonderful husband, and while there are days I get upset with him, thankfully they are few and far between.

 

It’s the little things he does that make me love him a little more every day. For example, if I’m having a bad day he’ll bring me a glass of wine or make me a cup of hot tea and listen while I rant about whatever it is that is upsetting me.

He used to try and fix the problem, but he’s learned when to make ‘suggestions’ as he calls it and when to just listen.

Sometimes he’ll come bouncing through the door with some new recipe he’s stumbled across on the internet, and while I sit and watch TV and relax, he’ll make dinner and then clean up afterwards.

I love him even more on those days.

On the weekends, even though he’s up at five o’clock, he’ll let me sleep in while he picks up the house and loads and unloads the dishwasher. And on most Sunday’s, he’s usually pulling a fresh loaf of homemade bread out of the oven as I climb out of bed.

Gotta love a man who isn’t afraid to clean and knows how to bake bread.

And he has an imagination that just won’t quit, a very good thing both in and out of the bedroom.

Mostly I love him a little more every day because I know that he does these things because he loves me and cares about me. And while there are days when I’m just in a bitchy mood, it’s the rare day when he responds in kind. Most of the time he just listens and he’s never held a grudge.

While my friends always talk about the great gifts they get at Christmas or on their anniversaries or their birthdays, and I do to, I’ll take a man who does the small things each day of the year.

Yep – I love him a little more every day of the year.

If the person you love does something that makes you love them a little more each day, leave a comment so we can all celebrate how lucky you are too!

Nikki Caine writes short spicy stories. Check her out on Amazon.

 

Aphrodisiac Foods He’ll Like

Food and sexuality have gone together throughout history. Whether it’s Anthony feeding Cleopatra grapes, or whipped cream used just the right way, these aphrodisiac foods will help your man be all he can be. And what girl doesn’t want that!

 

 

Ten Aphrodisiac Foods He’ll Like

1. Hot chili’s

The heat in hot chili’s helps to stimulate the release of endorphins, the bodies feel good drug. And who doesn’t want their man feeling good!

2. Avocados

Avocados are high in B9 which gives him more energy and B6 which helps to increase his testosterone levels. Umm … more energy and high testosterone.

3. Chocolate

Share some chocolate with him. It’s good to increase excitement and helps promote a sense of well-being. And chocolate syrup? Good on vanilla ice cream. Vanilla is another aphrodisiac.

4. Pomegranate Juice

It’s kind of expensive, but studies have shown that it helps with erectile dysfunction. Maybe instead of an apple a day it should be a glass of pomegranate juice a day will keep you both happy and satisfied.

5. Honey

Hippocrates, the Greek physician, prescribed this for sexual vigor. The nitric oxide in honey helps to open up the blood vessels involved in a man’s erection. And there are other more imaginative ways to use honey that are guaranteed to help him get it up.

6. Coffee

A good cup of coffee helps to increase dopamine which is good for increasing desire and pleasure. A cup of coffee might just be the thing after that small bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup.

7. Watermelon

Watermelon was shown in one study to have Viagra like effects. It’s said to relax the blood vessels and improve circulation right where we women want the old blood flowing. See honey!

8. Olives

The Greeks believed that olives and olive oil helped to make men more virile.

9. Pumpkin seeds

Pumpkin seeds are full of magnesium which helps to increase a man’s testosterone levels.

10. Cherries

Full of vitamins to keep his heart strong and a good source of magnesium which is good for testosterone. Plus, if has any kind of imagination maybe he’ll combine it with a little whipped cream in the bedroom.

Feed him these foods and see if it doesn’t help. If you know other foods that work as aphrodisiacs on your partner leave a comment.

Nikki Caine writes short spicy romance. Check her out on Amazon.

 

 

My Secret Hiding Spots

Sometimes adults need a place to hide. A place to get away from family or kids or coworkers.

When everyday life gets to be a little too much, sometimes I just need a place to go and be alone. Not that I don’t like the people around me, but on those days when I’m feeling mean or aggravated it’s a sure bet that you can find me in one of these places.

My favorite place to hide is our local art museum. It’s a sure bet that I’ll never run into any of my friends or family there. They all think that museums are boring. I actually enjoy the art museum. There is an unwritten rule, much like the library, that talking is not allowed. But unlike the library, there’s no one there to shush you if you do decide to speak. Rather its an unwritten rule.

In the museum I can wander from room to room, or just sit quietly, and look at paintings or scultpures without someone constantly asking me for something. A place to gather my thoughts and forget about the outside world for a while. And as a bonus I almost always come up with a story idea.

Bookstores are another place you’ll find me sometimes although they’re getting harder and harder to find. Our local Borders shut down, and it’s a thirty minute drive to the next big bookstore near me. Although that’s okay too. If I didn’t have to drive through city traffic, it would be almost perfect.

Bookstores, like museums and libraries, are usually pretty quiet. Not as quiet, but close. Just don’t go on a weekend. I loved Borders because I could wander the aisles, find a new book, and then grab a latté and just read. Uninterrupted.

Once I finished a whole book after a particularly stressful weekend.

It was heaven!

If I want to feel like I’m still being productive I’ll go the park and walk. During the week its empty, and as a woman I still feel safe because it’s a wide open park. It’s a way for me to pretend I’m exercising while enjoying nature. On the weekends it’s too busy. Full of kids playing sports and their parents. Not that I don’t like kids, I do. But I know a lot of moms and they have a way of finding me when all I really want is to be alone.

These are my hiding spots when I feel a need to be alone. If you have a favorite spot to go when you need to get away leave a comment.

Nikki Caine writes short spicy stories. You can find her on Amazon.

 

 

 

Men Are So Confusing

Men are a very mysterious breed. While society pegs them as easy to read, we women know the truth. They confuse women.

Why do men feel the need to catcall. It’s especially bad with construction workers and men in trucks. Big trucks.

Just stop it guys. We’re not going to go home with you, or jump in your truck, and then jump all over you. The only girls that do that are the ones who work on street corners.

And what is it with your fascination with big trucks? Are you over compensating for something? If you like a big four wheel drive truck with chrome everywhere that sits so high you need a ladder to get into it, good for you. Some of us women like big trucks too.

We don’t like the assholes who yell at us when they drive by. Just stop it. It wasn’t even cute when you were in high school. And now? It’s just sad.

Another thing that confuses women is why men spend so long in the bathroom. Surely it doesn’t take you that long? Just what exactly are you doing in there? Reading? Trust me there are much better places to read.

And we know it stinks, because we can barely breathe when you’re done and we walk in.

It’s confusing and irritating to us to that men seem to have a hard time listening to us. Why can’t men just listen to us when we sit down and tell them about something that’s happened during the day that has upset us. Our girlfriends don’t seem to have a hard time doing this. Why do men?

And why do they think they need to fix whatever we’re upset about?

Women are smart enough to fix whatever the problem is for themselves. We just want someone to listen to us and show a little empathy.

I know a guy who defines empathy as ‘putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and imagining what they feel.’ Except in his case, what he really means is what would he would do.

That’s not what women mean by empathy.

Men’s feelings are another thing that confuses women. The same guy who’ll pretend he has something in his eye when Lassie falls down a well, is the same guy who pretends to be tough when something unbelievably sad happens in life.

Like at funerals. They pretend to be so stoic.

It’s true women don’t want a guy who cries when he gets a bad hair cut. But why can’t men show a little emotion when women are around?

These are just a few of the things that I find so confusing about men. There are lots more and if you have something you find confusing about men leave a comment. Maybe one of the guys reading this can explain it to us.

Although I’m betting it’ll be a confusing answer!

Nikki Caine writes short spicy stories. Check her out on Amazon.